Connection today is drenched in irony especially with all the new digitized mechanisms of communication that are present today that promise us wins at this art!
I believe that connection is refreshing and therapeutic! It is discovering parts of yourself within others. As a life coach, this is my most favourite part about coaching! Think of it this way, we are all connected to each other and this earth. We literally thrive on connection. In as much as we are so different, we are also very much alike! True connection is not just needed with our significant others. We need to connect with each other at almost all levels of our lives. It is not a lie that families, spouses, workmates, friends are truly struggling to connect today. It is all over the NEWS in case you feel differently.
Here are reasons why you may be struggling to truly connect today.
1) Closed off hearts.
Through every disappointment, pain, betrayal or heartache I always pray for healing that inspires newness in my spirit. That I would be able to move on and keep an OPEN HEART that carries useful lessons and not fear. We go through so many things that threaten to completely close off our hearts. It becomes really hard for a darkened heart to see, feel and experience the light and warmth of the people around them.
2) Nasty NEGATIVE Nancy.
Negative people never make good friends, employers, spouses, employees or anything that people would desire to be associated with. Positive energy that inspires high thoughts and hope is magnetic. Negative energy is not only felt through our words but also through body language. People feel it. We might say really positive words but the undertone might be off! Genuine elevation in our conversations and interaction with each other allows us to truly connect.
It’s true, we are all a little bit judgy! Preconceived notions about people and who they are is blocking us from truly finding out who they really are. We are all different and therefore need to let go of the pressure we exert on people to think, act and feel the same way we do. We have the capacity to be safe spaces and still share our experiences, perspectives, thoughts and convictions with love.
People are very resourceful and there is no doubt about this, but no one wants to be loved for only what they bring to the table. Whether it’s the table of dating, parenting, workspace, friendship or family. Our hands need to be more open to embracing rather than receiving.
At the end of the day, all of us are more relational and connect easier in an environment where we feel fully accepted for who we are and not just because of our contributions.
5) Followers over REAL connection.
Today we are more concerned about our follower count than real connection with others. A parent might subconsciously choose his/her online friends over his/her tribe at the dinner table. We are living in a time where it requires us to intentionally put our phones down in order to truly connect with the people that are right in front of us. These are the people that should get the bigger piece of who we are! It is not hard to figure out who these people are! If you are dating, are married, have kids, siblings, etc; invest in true intentional connection in these spaces.
6) Self- sabotage Blocks.
At times we experience blocks when in a true attempt at connecting with others in different areas of our lives. “What will they think of me?” “I don’t look as good as they do!” “What if I’m not good enough?”
Breaking down these blocks and showing up in the truth of who we are, allows us to make room for true connection. Developing a positive self-image and worth clears the fog we experience when in situations that require us to connect with others.
We do not show up at our jobs, relationships or families to receive worth and belonging. We are already worthy and WE belong! We need to connect at this level. At a place of worthiness.
We all have this longing and desire in our hearts to connect with each other.
Social media is selling us a counterfeit idea of what true connection is. We think we are connecting when we are on those social platforms but the truth is that the more time we invest there the more we are depleted relationally. This explains why a lot of people feel very alone and yet they have multitudes on these platforms. A lot of people are very embarrassed to admit to their need for true connection. I believe that no one and nothing should make you feel embarrassed for desiring meaningful connection.
It’s crazy, but I know you know how true this is! We live in a time where we need to intentionally request for opportunities to connect and I believe we should not feel ashamed for this. Ask your kids to put their phones down and request them to talk to you. Request your hubby|boyfriend|wife to hold your hand. Take advantage of physical meetups and don’t let an eye-contact moment miss you! Hug your siblings and celebrate them. Feel the warm handshakes of your folks! Let the ones you love and those around you know that you see them. Let them know that you value their connection.
Stay Relatable Forever and invest in true connection!