Let Love Find You
This was a valentines day post that made it to the blog a little late! 🙂 Still relevant if you ask me!
This is not another post that I encourage you to be your own valentine and make this frivolous and somehow capitalistic season about self-love. As much as I champion self-love and its beauty, this year I want to challenge you to let love find you. Let others love you and experience the transcendence of being loved and loving others. I know you want to stay Taliban (How to avoid character development strategy in Nairobi) and the recent Netflix documentary, The tinder swindler is heavily getting in your way towards putting your guard down and letting love in. The gender-based violence cases streaming daily on tv leaves you wondering if there is still love and understanding left in our society.
The way relationships are evolving today makes you wonder whether you have the tools and heart to get it right. Your own generational traumas, miseducation and experiences are not necessarily pushing you towards wanting to put in the effort towards creating and finding healthy relationships. How fast we learnt that love is definitely not Disney snow white or beauty and beast storylines. So, you and I are on the fence when it comes to love. We want to win but are never in the arena.
I did not know that my default was fear until love found me. I did not know how scared I was of love until someone loved me and I wondered why I was so cold and so darn unlovable. He thought I was playing hard to get. Far from that, my fear was getting in the way. Fear of loving the wrong person or too many people or loving at the wrong time. Fear of being loved wholly for who you are. Terror of being seen in your weaknesses and strengths. Fear of loving in your own terms that may be different from how your father, mother or society loves. Fear of taking on the world with someone else and the self-doubt that you can handle both your life and in part theirs. Fear of growth because love has a huge potential of growing us.
Growth is most times uncomfortable despite its beauty. I realized that I picked up a lot of fear growing up and how I held this fear was blocking me from experiencing real and true love. It was holding me captive from sharing the core of my being with others.
You get the gist. Fear is in our tracks and how we hold it has paralysed us from truly living and loving. There is the foreboding of something bad happening to us and not being able to handle it. There are family and society expectations. Oh hell, there is social media and its pressures. I acknowledge that it is not easy but we can love despite the fear of all these things. Other people are doing it as difficult as it seems. The fear they feel only dies off as they lean more towards being loving and receiving love from others. They do it scared because love does delight in giving and not so much in receiving. It becomes extra beautiful when we receive it. To receive love and appreciate the love we ought to give it. Instead of wondering if there is love out there, focus on being love and giving it.