It’s interesting that this came from me! More like ironic. I am probably the most easily offended human being I know. I don’t know! May be you are too. If you are, then, I’d encourage you keep reading. I with many others reading this sit on this high, unstable and weak pedestal that is made of cheap wood that cannot carry any weight .This pedestal represents our pride, fakeness and idea of perfection. We sit on this unstable, cruel sit judging harshly those that cross us wrongly. There are certain categories of people that unapologetically cross our paths and may cross us wrongly and feel the wrath of the pedestal.
Families are as diverse as our experiences. They mold us into what society gets to have as adult citizens. Family is a place of acceptance and love. That’s the beauty of family. The older we get in these knit relational structures, the more we see our imperfections as members of the same household. All of a sudden you realize your parents are not perfect and probably messed up more than once. Your siblings are making choices that you wouldn’t .The pedestal soon creeps in on you and decide that your mom or dad or well, whoever ‘messed’ up doesn’t need your love or even attention. You punish them for being human and maybe making wrong choices that you make as well. It’s okay to feel hurt. Actually it’s your heart crying out for them to have wanted better for themselves. But do not let pain rob you of a beautiful, imperfect and fulfilling relationship with the ones you love.
Connection is not easy to find outside your family especially the older you get. The things that most times bond strangers are the things that they have in common, personality and shared paths. People are allowed to change and evolve to whoever they feel drawn to become. True friendship affords this with love, truth and never with judgment. Even when it means losing the thing that bonded you at the beginning. At some point as a human being we will have to realize that it can’t always be about us and what we want .This is the beauty of relationships. Considering others more than ourselves.
Loving someone romantically is learning to respond to love in a way that makes sense to the other person. It’s not a one way ticket. As a woman, yes, you are worth being rightfully pursued. As a man, you definitely need not beg to be respected. But can we get over ourselves for a minute. Trust me love is way better without pride and need to prove your worth constantly. Love is freedom. Freedom to be vulnerable, seen and yes, hurt. You will mess up and hurt someone and will be hurt by the other person. It’s okay. As long as you can admit when hurt and humbly apologize when wrong.
To sum this up, I would encourage us to call down our perfect idea of ourselves seated on the pedestal that torments the real, imperfect us living in an imperfect world. Know that it’s okay to make mistakes and allow others to make them. Yes, even ones that you will regret and have to live with forever. But do not pitch camp there. Be kind to yourself and throw away the pedestal.