Being nominated for BAKE AWARDS was not something that I had anticipated. I remember when the nominee’s list came out! I just brushed through it with an “of course I am not on it attitude but let’s see who is!”. Then there we were on no.9b. It was so surreal such that I reloaded the list multiple times just in case I had seen my own things. And it was true! We were nominated! I couldn’t believe it. I immediately started calling everyone that I loved and loved me to share the exciting news!
Once the nomination excitement had died down a bit, then came anxiety. “ What if no one votes, what if they vote and I still don’t win?’’ I got on Instagram and checked out the other blogs on the category and guys, hapo ndio karibu nianguke! They have multitudes in following and I knew that there is no way in hell I was winning this thing! Fear, comparison and over thinking killed the excitement of the achievement so far.
Days leading up to the awards ceremony were filled with fear of losing and not just that but losing publicly. I also found out a few things about myself! For example, the scary fact that I can be an emotional eater. I ate a lot of junk when I was both excited about the awards and anxious about them. I dived right in guys. Let’s ignore the fact that before the nominations I was on a healthy eating journey thing and on intermittent fasting. LOL. It completely threw me off! I forgave myself and now we can laugh together!
Campaigning for votes was the most humbling experience for me. Just seeing people that I did not even know vote and tell me that they read the blog and having support and love from both close and distant friends and family. It really warmed my heart! Having them call me and gas me up before the awards ceremony was everything because I had to go to the event alone.
I wrote these lessons on my journal days before the award ceremony to ground me after the awards so that I could have the right perspective no matter what happens on the day. I am so grateful I did this because high chances I would have lost my mind whether I won or not.Especially so if I didn’t! The truth is, these lessons do not just apply to me and my journey but can apply to yours too.
As lifted from my journal!
I am grateful that I get to inspire, motivate, encourage others in this way. I am scared! What if i am not good enough? What if my writing is pathetic and I never get to go anywhere with my blogging. What if I never become a super blogger? Or “famous” for my work? What if it never pays me. On the flipside, what if it becomes the best thing that I embark on in my life? What if I get to meet amazing women like ThisisEss or Oprah because of it!(random) What if I become an ambassador for whatever because of it.
I really hope I win the award.
What remains constant whether I win or lose the award
-
I am amazing and I am worthy and enough!
-
My work inspires, motivates and encourages my audience!
-
There are still amazing opportunities out there for me and my work.
-
I am loved, valued, seen and appreciated.
-
I am thatgirlrelatable!Yasssssssss!
-
I am a writer.
-
It’s a journey and it continues.
-
Impact and changing the world in my own little way is not about how many people know me, follow me or accolades.
-
I am supported and the work that I do is needed.
-
God loves me and gives me the strength and wisdom to handle every situation that I find myself in, good or bad.
-
I want to be the kind of friend that gases you up for all the achievements in your life that you downplay. (bonus)
I went back home that night with BAKE AWARDS 2019 “BEST NEW BLOG” award and these affirmations! And they couldn’t be truer. I am grateful to all who voted and all the love from the community that this blog has birthed. I hope you affirm yourself today! I hope you do so, even more, when it feels like your mind is fighting those things that remain FOREVER true about you.
Stay Relatable forever.
