Carry this Forward in 2021 : Biggest Lesson Learnt
I know we are leaving all the drama and the violence we experienced behind us and yes, i will toast to that. It was crazy, sad and out of this world but i know we have lessons learnt the hard way that we are forever carrying with us as we navigate this world.
F******cccckkkk! I do not know how many times I said this word in the past year but I can guarantee that it was more than twice. 2020 was a difficult year and I am grateful that we are all here today. It could have been worse.
I began 2020 with so much hope and energy that slowly faded as the months went by. I hosted my very first group coaching event in January (watch it Here) and the universe responded with ‘enough my child’. You have done enough now and there was a pandemic.
I am so glad that I was able to do the event pre-covid regulations. I had planned to have three events in 2020. I gladly managed to host only two. As the infection rate plummeted, my anxiety went just as high and it became really hard to stick to my vision for this space, let alone dream again. I mean 2020 was the year I wanted to meet as many of my readers as I could.
My response to the pandemic and all the things it was bringing up in my life was FREEZE. It all became too much. Working a full-time job, growing a small business, working from home, creating visual and written content became all too much for me. I just froze and did the bare minimum for my survival and mental health. The paralysis that everyone was experiencing on some level because of the regulations made it to my mental space and I could not write or film content. I also stopped holding space for people as a coach and got someone who can consistently hold space for me.
In highly traumatic and stressful situations we tend to respond by either fleeing, freezing or fighting. We most times do not get to choose how we respond and it can take a while for us to process the experience/situation. This is a survival instinct that helps us navigate stressful experiences. I totally beat myself up for how I responded. I struggled with accepting that I am going through it because I still showed up and tried to do the little that I could but punishing myself for not being able to do so as I desired. Eventually, nilikubali and decided to just FLOW. I allowed it to happen. I accepted that it is not happening against me but for me. I am not the go with the flow type of girl in anything. I desire to plan and know. 2020 was not planned by anyone and to be honest, life is what happens when we are busy planning. 2020 asked us to pull a sit and chill with the plans.
2021 is here and we are all on go mode. We have plans, ambitions, dreams and goals. First, this is super inspiring and I am in awe of the human capacity and resilience. I mean we are still in the middle of a pandemic but dare to believe, begin again and dream. The lesson I learnt in 2020 was flowing. To give my best, do my best and flow. To accept the things I cannot change and change the things that can be changed. I learnt to stop beating myself up over issues and situations in my life that are way beyond me. I learnt and accepted that I have to put my seatbelt first before I try to help anyone and dealt with the unnecessary guilt that comes with that. I learnt that pain is the life experience and suffering is a choice. I truly suffered from my overthinking and anxiety. I still do. It’s a path I am learning to unlearn. I really did not know how much before 2020.
I am grateful for all the things that 2020 exposed in me. The good and the bad. The awareness brought my way. I believe that as I slowly but surely unfreeze myself (not because a lot has changed) and flow, great things will I find on the other side. 2021 will be great, not because everything will go as planned and aliens will not attack us but because we will thrive despite it all.
Happy New Year Relatables!
Let’s keep thriving!