“Wewe si friend yangu!” translation “ You are not my friend!” one little girl says to another because she refused to share her doll. We start using the word friend from childhood. And phrases like these are often heard when one doesn’t get their way. But what is friendship really, what does it mean to call someone friend?
The dictionary defines friendship as a relationship of mutual affection between people. It goes further to refer to a friend as a person attached to another by affection or esteem, typically one exclusive of sexual or family relations.
Friends are chosen, that much is clear. In life there are tiers of friendship, generally determined by how long we have known someone or how we met that person. Which in turn acts as a precept to the degree of closeness.What do we look for in a friendship, is it purely selfish? Why do we pick the people we pick to call friends? What dictates when it begins, how long it runs or when it ends? Why do we need the fulfillment? Is it purely selfish?Some friendship related questions that would probably shed some light on what we choose to cultivate.
To survive humans have to interact and rely on one another, and to everyone we call a friend, there’s an instinctive and sub-conscience purpose to that relationship. This is what carves our minds to what we want out of it, and dictates how we respond to and treat the other person.
How do we make friendships more fulfilling?
1) Express honesty in love
Love isn’t always mushy. Sometimes it is firm but most importantly caring. It is necessary to find that balance. Many have been mean in the name of tough love, a term that I think has been misused way too often. There is no room for fear in love because fear brings along bondage. One thing that is sure to stifle all relationships.
2) Don’t be too selfish.
We are wired to be selfish, something most of us are afraid to admit. It is in our nature.But there’s something that drives us to regulate it to the extent that we can think of the other person more than or maybe as much as ourselves. Is it why we are called to love our neighbor as ourselves?
3) Don’t let fear take over your sanity.
Many times we hide behind the mask of fear which often holds us back and like I had mentioned, fear cultivates bondage. Fear in friendship stalls it and at some point completely kills it depending on the purpose of the friendship.
4) Find serenity.
When you are at peace with yourself, content and confident you exude that, without much struggle.Unfortunately, we don’t always have this luxury, but it is not beyond our reach. It is said that we attract what we are. When we seek to work on ourselves, our inhibitions, pet peeves, struggles. We generally mold ourselves into better people, and this, in turn, will reflect in our friendships.
5) Accept each other, judge less.
BONUS TIP
